Published November 28, 2005
'I CAN SURVIVE'
DAVIS HIGH GRAD FIGHTS HER WAY BACK AFTER TRAGEDY
By    CHRISTINA SALERNO, BEE STAFF WRITER

Tamara Mena-Perez was cold as she rode in the backseat of a taxi in Mexico headed for a night out with friends. The last thing she remembers is her boyfriend leaning over and hugging her to keep her warm.

When she opened her eyes again, her life had changed forever.

Pretty and petite, with dark brown eyes and a wide smile, Mena-Perez was like any busy college student. The 19-year-old Davis High School graduate was living on her own for the first time. She was in love with her boyfriend, Patrick Riner, living with a roommate, and working as a waitress to help pay for classes at San Diego Mesa College.

On Oct. 15, Mena-Perez, Riner and four friends visiting from Modesto headed to Rosarito, Mexico, a beach town popular among college students.

The taxi struck a horse on the highway, killing Riner and the driver. Mena-Perez suffered a spinal cord injury, which has left her paralyzed from the chest down. The other passengers escaped serious injuries.

Mena-Perez believes Riner's hug protected her body with his and saved her life.

"I think of everything that could have been different," she said from her room at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center, a rehabilitation facility. "But it was best that I had that last minute with him."

Riner, 21, was also a Davis High graduate. He was attending San Diego State University. The couple had been dating for three years.

Lying in a hospital bed in Mexico after the accident, she overheard one of her friends make a phone call and say that Riner was dead.

"I said, 'No, that's not true.' That's when I found out," she said.

She smiled when she first mentioned his name, but her expression quickly turned to grief.

"I still can't believe it," she said through tears. "At first, I was confused, and I kept asking why Pat hadn't come to see me, but I knew in the back of my head he was gone."

She underwent surgery at University of California at San Diego Medical Center. Three weeks ago, she was moved to the center in San Jose. Her hope, she says, is to be home to Modesto by Christmas.

Mena-Perez was born in Mexico; she and her mother, Martha Perez, moved to Modesto when Mena-Perez was 13 years old. She switches easily from English to Spanish to speak to her mother, a housekeeper at the DoubleTree Hotel in Modesto.

MOTHER BY HER SIDE

Martha Perez took a leave from her job to care for her daughter; through the ordeal, she has never left Mena-Perez's side.

"At first, I couldn't believe what was happening," Perez said in Spanish. "For several days, I was very angry. Why did this have to happen to her?"

One day at the hospital, she said, she felt the presence of God, which gave her hope and a sense of peace.

"It has been difficult because she needs me to be strong for her," she said. "A few days ago, she said to me, 'I don't like to see you sad, Mom,' and I had to leave the room because I was crying too much."

Mena-Perez says she knows she likely will spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair.

"It's hard," she said. "The other day I felt very desperate and wanted to move my legs, but I couldn't."

But Riner's death has been harder to deal with than her injury, she said.

"We were a fun couple," she said. "We could see ourselves marrying. He would give me strength, and I try to grab onto that, but it is hard without him being here."

Still, she said, she is thankful for a second opportunity at life.

"I can still go to school, and I can survive," she said. "My head is fine, and I have two strong arms. There are people here who can't move from the neck down or lose their memory."

She can remember the day of the accident clearly. The group of longtime friends spent the day at the beach in San Diego and ate at Joe's Crab Shack, then Mena-Perez had to go to work. The restaurant wasn't busy, so she asked if she could leave early to go out with her friends. They drove to the border and then caught a taxi for the 15-mile drive to Rosarito.

"Only God knows why he does things," she said. "Later on I will know, and it will be for the better. But I'm disappointed because we took a taxi so we didn't drink and drive. We did it so we wouldn't be in an accident, so ... why?"

Ana Perez, Mena-Perez's aunt, said there are no words to describe how the accident has affected the family.

"In every family there is an angel, a star. Tamara is that," she said. "She always has a smile and a good heart for everyone."

Mena-Perez wants to return to college in San Diego, where she was majoring in business. Her goal is to be back by next fall. Even though there will be reminders of her old life there, she says she is looking forward to the future.

"It will be a different time, a different story," she said.

For now, Mena-Perez is undergoing therapy to learn how to dress herself, take a shower and move around without help.

"When I get to be more independent, things will be more normal," she said, smiling as she does exercises to lift herself a few inches up from the wheelchair.

One of her inspirations has been Suzy Kim, her doctor at the center in San Jose. Like Mena-Perez, Kim is paralyzed from the chest down and uses a wheelchair, the result of a surfing accident in Southern California. After the accident, Kim returned to school and became a rehabilitation doctor.

Mena-Perez says her family has lifted her spirits, along with the knowledge that people she doesn't know have reached out to help or pray for her.

She also has become even closer to Riner's mother, who lost her only child in the accident.

"We are both trying to help each other out," Mena-Perez said.

Perez said she is amazed at her daughter's strength.

"I know both of us will succeed," she said. "Every day she is feeling better, and I feel better, too. My daughter is everything to me, and I am very proud."

Friends have established a trust fund to help the family pay for medical bills and expenses. Contributions may be made at any Modesto Commerce Bank in the name of Tamara Mena-Perez.

Bee staff writer Christina Salerno can be reached at 578-2337 or csalerno@modbee.com.